Understanding Women: Part 8 – Is she a Crazy Lying Whore?

.

You can read Part 7: Her Inner Zombie here.

I Feel So Confused…

Sometimes women seem to contradict themselves… almost like they’re lying:

  • She says, “I really like you… it’s just that I’m not really ready for a relationship right now” and then she immediately starts dating that blond hunk who bartends at your favorite Friday Night Hot Spot. (Read Reason 4 Below)
  • She falls crying into your friendly arms to complain about her cheating boyfriend but then ends up going back to him the next weekend. (Read Reason 2 Below)
  • She continues to avoid your advances over the last 5 weeks of casual dating because she’s made it clear that she’s not “that type of girl” and that she prefers to “take things slow” … and then ends things with you, but you later hear she complained to her girlfriends that you just wouldn’t “make a move.” (Read Reason 1 Below)
  • You’ve been dating her for the past year now and have finally concluded that there some things she’s just not comfortable doing with you … sexually. Until she confesses doing those exact things with a male stripper, in the parking lot, at her friend’s bachelorette party. (Read Reason 1 Below)
  • Things are going well in the relationship, you’re giving her everything she wants, but for some reason it seems to only make her more upset and angry. (Read Reason 3 Below)
  • She get’s upset when you say, “I don’t care where we eat, you decide.” (Read Reason 3 Below)

Women are a fun conundrum of complexity, emotions, tits and ass. We love to hate them and we hate to love them.

To wrap up this mini-series on women I’m concluding with some of the strangest parts of their behaviors and mindsets…

Why is she crazy?
_

Four Reasons She’s Not a Crazy Lying Whore

There’s really four main reasons that can explain the bizarre behaviors of feminine women:

  1. The Madonna / Whore complex.
  2. Her Feminine Energy.
  3. She Tests You Because She Wants To Trust You.
  4. She’s Just Not That Into You.
_

1. Is She Pure, or Purely a Whore?

Here’s a test…

Do you think that “good girls” enjoy sex in a different way then “bad girls”?

Does this make her a whore?

Is there a part of you that thinks your girlfriend needs to be pure and unsoiled by dirty sex acts while you secretly masturbate to fantasies between you and “whores” performing very different sexual activities?

Some women have this same complex.

It’s often called the Madonna / Whore complex.

It’s an inner conflict many of us grow up with… we gain this prejudice about sex and sexuality that causes us to judge ourselves, and others, based upon their sexual habits. Blame the church, your mom, or the media for introducing you to such prejudices. And blame yourself for holding onto them.

Here’s the problem: we’re taught to treat certain sexual activities as “dirty” … this often leads to us (men and women) to judging AND desiring women who are more sexually aggressive, assertive, and open.

Somewhere we’re taught that sexuality is dirty. And yet we’re also told that sex is awesome and being sexy is awesome! This conflict can really mess us up.

The problem is that women are at the raw end of this deal. Women suffer more from social judgments then we do. Boys can brag about their sexual exploits while girls are shamed for theirs.

This causes us to divide the way we see sex with women as both loving AND dirty.

This is a disease of the mind that can make many guys diminish the type of sex life they’re willing to enjoy with their girlfriends and wives simply because they don’t want to “soil” their image of her… while secretly craving more sexually experimental relationships with other women they respect less.

Believing that your girlfriend might become soiled from your deep sexual thirst is a terrible belief that only pushes her more and more away from you, and may encourage both partners to seek sex outside of the relationship. This is stupid.

The term SLUTTY confuses us... how can we both judge and desire her?

If you REALLY believe that your girlfriend/wife is only for “making love” while the porn star you masturbate to is only good for “dirty sex” then you are definitely suffering from the Madonna / Whore complex.

It’s this judgment of themselves (or fear from the judgments of others) that causes so many women to put up a fake front that says, “I only make love… I’m not into dirty sex.” These same women WANT to explore their sexuality, but they will never do so with someone they fear will embarrass them in public, or who will judge them for it the next day.

And some guys get this.

It’s these guys who enjoy one-night-stands with women simply because they provide a “safe” environment for her to explore her sexual desires, without the fear of him laughing at her for it, or bragging to her friends afterwards.

Remember… being sexual is NOT wrong… it’s empowering and natural. And the sooner you can convey your feelings on the matter the better. Because if she sees that you’re not embarrassed to flirt, or share sexual secrets, she’ll ALSO feel less inhibited. And that’s a good thing.

If you want women to surrender to your sexual escalation then you will need to rid yourself of such sexual judgments (towards yourself and others.)

_

2. The Mysteries Of The Feminine

Read anything by David Deida and you’ll quickly learn powerful insights about the masculine and the feminine.

All men and women can express masculine energy and feminine energy. But overall most women naturally express feminine energy and most guys express masculine energy.

The feminine energy is about passion, creativity, dramatic expression, nurturing and loving. This energy wants to be filled up with never-ending emotions and feelings of love. Most feminine people seek long conversations because they enjoy the ever flowing process of talking and sharing.

The masculine energy is about making order out of chaos, puzzle solving, bringing things to conclusion. This energy is about emptying out, feeling void and quiet. Like the feelings of orgasm, or meditation. We masculine people want silence and peace and so we hurry to finish the conversation.

The ultimate feminine expression is giving life (being a mother for example.) The ultimate masculine expression is death (violent sports help illustrate this.)

Masculine Vs. Feminine Scale
Masculine Vs. Feminine Scale

These two energies are like the opposites on a magnet – north and south. And the more opposite your energy is to hers, the more attracted you’ll both naturally feel.

But because we express ourselves so differently (the masculine and the feminine) we often find ourselves very confused with the opposite energy (or opposite sex.) While we guys want to sit quietly and watch a sport’s show she might want to sing and dance and interact. We guys often want silence while she wants to talk. It’s simply two different energies.

This difference can be annoying outside of the bedroom, but during sex these differences feel fantastic! The more masculine male will want to devour her and fill her up with himself. The more feminine female will surrender to his lead and will want to be filled up by him.

If she’s very feminine then she’s very much like the weather. Ever changing and hard to predict. She’s influenced by all the hot and cold fronts all around her. The more feminine she is, the more she’s influenced by the things around her and by others in her life. Why? Because the feminine enjoys this constant flux and flow of emotions. While the masculine prefers structure and order.

_

Here’s how it applies…

When you say Do you want to join me for dinner Thursday night? she s might actually hear Do you feel like joining me for dinner Thursday night? And perhaps in that very moment she s feeling happy and content and really DOES feel like joining you for dinner on Thursday night.

But come Thursday she may no longer feel like joining you. So when she cancels and says No I don t feel like joining you tonight she s being honest because she really doesn t feel like it – in that moment. She was being honest when she first said, “yes” but she was also being honest on Thursday when she says, “no thanks.”

Does this make her a liar?

No.

This just makes her a slave to her emotions. I know some guys like this too, so I m not actually pointing fingers at all women, I m just hoping to provide some insight into scenarios like this. There can be any number of reasons someone flakes out on us.

Something that is especially true with women you ve just started to date, or have just met, is that they really don t know you yet. It takes many many years to learn about someone, and so if she s canceling out on a date it s not because she s rejecting you. She doesn t even know you. It s because of her own reasons. These are reasons you re going to have to accept as being unknowable.

Force yourself to be around attractive women so that you can become acclimatized to their feminine energy.

Should you get upset about this?

No.

Do you get upset when the weather is sunny on one day and then rainy on the next day? Of course not, because the weather is uncontrollable and is made up of so many variables that it s almost impossible to predict. This is the same as the emotional well being of a feminine woman in any given moment. And if she s making decisions based upon how she feels then you re almost at the mercy of her emotional state.

Learn to improve her emotional state and you’ll learn how to help her to ALWAYS say “YES!” to your requests.

Don’t take her “no thanks” as a final answer until you’ve made an effort to first improve her emotional state. Make her laugh, make her smile, and try again. Persistence is a part of being a man who get’s what he wants.

_

3. She Tests You To Trust You

It’s called a “shit test.”

It’s her being bitchy, rude, or purposely antagonistic.

It took me years before I knew this was even happening, and once I did I had no idea how to deal with it. Thankfully I can save you some grief…

Why does she do it?

She wants to know if your house is made of straw or stone.

She will test you simply because she doesn’t think you’re paying attention, being authentic, or bringing your true masculine self to the interaction. Almost like a child who screams to get his mom’s attention, she will sometimes scream to find out what you’re made of. She wants to know if you will freak out and prove to her that you’re not a man, or she wants to know if you’re stand up for yourself and that you’re a mountain that she can’t move.

If you’re insecure, easily manipulated, or you become angry and frustrated, then she knows that your house is made of straw. And your straw house will not keep her safe in times of real trouble. But if you are non-reactive to the hurricane that is her emotional state, then she will FEEL that your house is made of stone, and that she can trust you to keep a cool head in times of trouble.

Is your inner game weak like straw or strong like brick?

Here’s the perfect example of a guy who “doesn’t get it” and who’s house is built of straw:

Guy: “Hey ladies, my name is Steve. I just HAD to come over here to meet you!”

Lady 1: “We’re not out to get picked up tonight pal, so fuck off.”

Guy: “Jesus, sorry for bothering you. I didn’t know you were bitches.”

In this first scenario the guy is reacting to the negative energy these two women were already feeling.

Here is the same interaction, except he’s more present and nonreactive to their mood:

Guy: “Hey guys, my name’s Steve.”

Lady 1: “We’re not out to get picked up tonight pal, so fuck off.”

Guy: “Wow, finally a woman who’s actually honest. That’s kinda powerful. Don’t feel bad, I’m the cock block for my friends too. Pound it!” (puts his fist out to be bumped.)

You see, being upset with a woman simply because she’s not into you is NOT how a “real man” reacts. And women naturally desire “real men.” So when you don’t react to her bad behavior, it helps teach her that you’re an unmoving mountain that she can lean on in times of stress.

The three easiest ways to “pass” her tests, at any stage of your relationship:

1) Be a leader. Make decisions without seeking her permission. Drive the buss. If she has an opinion she’ll let you know, but she’ll become frustrated with you if you’re ALWAYS asking her first…. “But sweet heart, where do YOU want to eat dinner tonight? What movie do YOU want to see?” Handling her with kitten gloves and constantly seeking her approval will make her bitchy very quickly. Instead you should just LEAD.

2) Escalate. If you’ve had three dates and you still haven’t tried to kiss her, then she’s gonna move on quick. Trust me, women don’t get upset when you make your move, they get upset when you don’t.

3) Don’t take things personally. If you react to the world like everything everyone else is doing is some type of slight towards you, then you’re just being a sissy. You are not a unique snowflake and you are not that important. When other people are slamming you it’s because they’re mad, not because you matter. It’s not personal. Every bad thing people do to hurt others has nothing to do with others, and has EVERYTHING to do with themselves. Read Don Ruiz to learn more about this.

_

4. She’s Just Not That Into You

I know this is hard to believe but sometimes a woman really doesn’t want you around.

The Bitch Shield helps prevent her from talking to your sorry ass.

Either she’s not into you (so she’s rude in a way that makes you go away) or she’s insecure and rejects you before you can reject her (I call this Rejection Protection Syndrome.)

And sometimes the easiest way to get rid of a dude is to be an asshole to him. It’s not mature, but it works.

If you’re interacting with a woman and you’re battling her mood, let her go. Don’t hold on to your frustration, just let it go. Maybe in 30 minutes she’ll relax and when she does she’ll realize you handled yourself with cool calm confidence.

Besides, why chase a girl who’s not interested? It’s annoying for her, and emasculating for you.

_

Final Thoughts

As hot and crazy as women are, I feel they’re worth studying. Not only to lessen our frustrations with their decision making process, but to improve the chances of them wanting into our lives, as friends and lovers.

But there’s a terrible secret I’ve hidden from you until just now.

Getting the Girl is made easier by studying them, but your real success will come from understanding yourself. Learning why you react the way you do, understanding your OWN emotions and motivations… THAT is where you can make GREAT strides with women.

Why? Because the more balanced you become as a man, the more attractive you become naturally to everyone around you.

There’s something captivating about being around a person who’s balanced, centered, and present.

So, stop reading about women, and start learning about your hot self.

~ Robby

_

You can read Part 7: Her Inner Zombie here.

P.S. Did any of this make sense? Ask me your questions in the comments below.

Top Photo Credit: SuicideGirls.com – Pin-Up Punk Rock and Goth Girls

One thought on “Understanding Women: Part 8 – Is she a Crazy Lying Whore?

  1. germanotaku says:

    Great Blog Rob, just like always…

    I really liked the 2nd point where you described the feminine and masculine way of being. And what made my day was the comparison between womens nature of feelings and the weather. But it really is freaking true 😀

    Well, don't know what more to write. Not too much of a big comment this time ^^

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Share This