Her Inner Zombie
The unconscious mind has been labeled the zombie within by some scientists either as a joke, or to help imply its mindlessness. These same scientists have discovered that as much as 90% of our decisions are being handled by parts of our brains that are totally unconscious or outside of our awareness.
Most parts of our human functions take place unconsciously, like our heart beat and our breathing. While at the same time, if we focus, our conscious mind can interrupt this process and affect it for better or worse. But on its deepest levels our unconscious mind will take over when it concerns our overall health and well being (it s impossible to hold your breath to death through shear will for example.)
Watch this TED video to learn more about 3 ways the brain creates meaning: Link
I propose that our emotional and sexual attraction to each other is driven by these same unconscious decisions. And I don t mean just instinctually, because not bodily response is born from instincts. Many of our decisions and reactions require complicated pattern recognition but which happen far beyond our focused thoughts. Our beliefs, driven from years of domestication from our parents, peers, and mentors, affect our behaviors deeply.
Ask any pro athlete what it s like to be in the zone and they ll describe their performances as mindless, almost as if they re out of their own bodies and simply at the will of their purpose driving them to win.
I m going to refer to a woman s unconscious decision making as her Inner Zombie. It s mindless and uncontrollable, and that s actually to our advantage.
She s not alone; we dudes have our own sexual zombies. As a man I m quite sure you ve discovered how your penis pretty much has a mind of its own. He calls his own shots, if you know what I mean. We spend much of our teenage years learning his preferences so as to appease his anger, his hungers, and his lusts.
We guys can be driven by our harmones, making us confused about wanting to fight or fuck. This mindlessness can drives us to be pretty… uncool.
And as a man you might often like to think that your decision making is perfectly within your rational brain, but experience should have taught you otherwise.
Why did I wet my bed when I was 13? Why did I punch that guy in the face when he insulted my ego? Why did I vomit when I saw my buddy vomit? Why do I overeat when I m on a diet? Why did I call that girl three times when I know it s only going to creep her out?
Unfortunately this Zombie Within makes many decisions for us and refuses to ask for our approval.
One of the most influential writers for men around the topic of women and dating is David DeAngelo. I will likely reference him many time through out my blog because his work has not only helped me to understand some of these dating insights, but also because his Dating Products are some of the best on the market.
I m referring to him now because he was the first guy to explain that Attraction Isn t a Choice. He found himself as frustrated as I was trying to figure out why woman make such bad decisions.
Why do some women stay in painful and often abusive relationships?
Why do some women date assholes while the nice guys are stuck at home alone and frustrated?
Why are some hot chicks dating douche bags?
Anthony Robbins has some answers as to the WHY we do these things: Link.
When I was single and jaded I asked these types of questions all the time.
The reason I wasn t finding an answer to my angry questions was because these questions pre-assumed that women were actually choosing to be attracted to the men they dated. The reality is that women DON T control who they re attracted to.
This is the same truth for men.
Blame her Inner Zombie.
Her Inner Zombie takes over when she feels things she likes or dislikes.
Does she know the guy she s dating is an asshole?
Most women are not stupid.
Most women are actually amazingly intelligent. But that doesn t mean she s always going to make SMART choices. She may understand intellectually that her boyfriend is an asshole, but if she stays with him it s because she FEELS that it ll be worth it in the end. Perhaps she s decided she can change him, or that his other positive qualities outshine his negative. But what s really happening is that her Zombie Within is having a great influence over her decisions by driving her emotions to stay instead of to leave.
There’s a pay off her logical mind isn’t noticing. Maybe she’s getting the attention she’s desperately seeking. Maybe she more comfortable with a man who’s domineering like her Dad was.. it’s comfortable. Maybe she’s too ashamed of the social attention a break up might bring her. Maybe he self esteem secretly convinces her that she deserves what ever punishment her boyfriend gives her.
Her logical brain is losing it’s battle against her unconsious belief system. It’s this Inner Zombie of hers that’s driving her to make this poor decision.
Her Inner Conflicts
Every woman will sometimes have a conflict between how she feels and what she thinks. It’s your job, as the seducer of women, to speak clearly to her Inner Zombie while being playful with her consious mind.
Why? Because rationally she may fear social judgements like being called a slut, or easy, so she will actively avoid one-night-stands or the walk-of-shame the next morning. But if you know how to communicate with her Inner Zombie (her body’s intuition and emotional state) then she’ll backwards rationalize her conflicted decision in an effort to sooth her mind from guilt or unease.
Side Story: The walk-of-shame is no joke! I’ve heard many stories from hockey players back in high school who experienced this drama first hand. My friend told me a story where he woke up in a panic the morning after a one-night-stand with a local girl he met while on the road with this hockey team. He discovered it was about 4 AM and he immediately rushed her out of his room while whispering, “You gotta get out of here before the guys wake up or they’ll all start chanting ‘Dirt! Dirt! Dirt!’ at you as you leave down the hall! Get out of here quick and be quiet!” Apparently this was something he experienced from his “buddies” on previous occasions.
For example, have you ever heard of Last Minute Resistance? LMR? This is where you’ve been making out with a girl, expecting that you’re finally going to have sex, when she suddenly panics and stops you short of the “full release.” This is her Inner Zombie saying, “Wait! This might be a mistake! This might be a trap! Danger! Danger!” which makes her slow everything down.
If you pay attention, and you learn how to connect with her properly, this last minute resistance will not occur.
I’ll give you some quick examples, but for more check out my book here: IGNORE and SCORE
Ways to prevent Last Minute Resistence
Educate yourself. Long before you get into bed realize what her real worries are – judgement, physical harm, emotional harm. Realize that true prevention of LMR comes from the first moments you spend together. During your time together BEFORE the bedroom she needs to TRUST you and feel deeply COMFORTABLE with you. It’s not about building up her lust levels, it’s about lowering her resistance and fears.
She’s thinking, “What will my friends say if I sleep with him so soon?” and, “Will I catch a disease?” and, “How do I know if he’s just using me?”
To help her feel at ease you can work your thoughts on these matters into your early conversations. Tell her a story about how you view One-Night-Stands: “I’ve had the odd one-night-stand but it’s rare. I mostly want to trust a girl before I let her into my bed. The last thing I want is a crazy person stalking me after sex, or a disease from a girl I don’t yet know. But ultimately I trust my intuition, I prefer going with the flow, and if our sexual desires come together early then our chemestry must be awesome! Why waste that? Besides I don’t kiss and tell so my friends don’t judge me.”
A quick story like this will instantly help her to realize that you “get it.”
By the time you’re both in bed together she might not know logically why she trusts you so much, so quickly, but her Inner Zombie will, and the Zombie dictates most things.
Build Trust and Comfort. Understanding rapport helps this a lot! Google it if you’re not sure. Rapport between two people is the best way to calm down her Inner Zombie. It communicates with her unconscious mind that you’re safe because you’re just like her. It’s like showing her a mirror of herself. And most people don’t fear having sex with themselves… do they?
Building trust comes from being honest and sincere. If you’re using pickup lines and pre-memorized stories, there’s a large chance she’s going to feel that you’re being fake. She won’t logically know why you feel “off” but her gut (Inner Zombie) will know.
Don’t judge her. Don’t tell stories where you judge other people. The less you judge the more open she’ll be. Don’t act disgusted when she tells you she’s slept with her Dad’s best friend when she was 15. Don’t ask disgusted when she explains that she strips on the weekends for extra cash. And don’t tell her stories about how disgusted you are about other women who sleep around.
If you judge other women for being sexual and open then she’s going to FEEL that and she’ll NEVER feel safe being sexual and open with you.
In bed she might say something like, “I can’t believe I’m doing this.” This is a weak form of LMR. It’s her saying, “I feel nervous about this… please make me feel more comfortable…”
Your reply should be something like this, “I know, right!? This is so great!”
One last thing on this topic… there’s no need to pretend you’re having sex with her because you want her to be your girlfriend (if you don’t.) Be honest by saying, “I’m just really having a good time, and obviously I don’t want to stop right now, but I don’t want to mislead you into thinking this is more than it is. If you think you’re going to become attached to me then we should definitely slow down.”
You might not get laid, but you also won’t have to deal with a woman stalker, or the guilt you might have for hurting some innocent woman.
If you push a woman s Attraction Triggers you ll awaken her Inner Zombie which will then flood her blood with pleasure filled hormones, thereby anchoring you in her mind as very pleasurable.
Women will go through amazing struggles to be with men they are attracted to, even if the man is a douche bag, an abusive drunk, or an asshole. Women will stay in terrible marriages and ignore the advice from all of their girlfriends simply because they feel this guy s right for them.
Her logical mind has nothing to do with these choices, because her desire for you is not a conscious choice. Stupid Zombie.
If you want to learn how some guys are able to trigger a woman s Zombie Within, or her Attraction Triggers, then you should be paying attention to what exactly these guys doing differently. Once her Sexual Zombie is awake it takes over her emotional state and will often “will” her to make decisions that get her closer to the man who s triggering the attraction within her.
I ve already said this before but it bears repeating: women want men who can bring them great emotions.
If you know how to bring a woman pleasurable emotions, she ll become addicted to you like a drug addict. You can do this by learning to communicate with her Zombie Within.
Read my post on How To Create Attraction Within A Woman found here.
When you communicate with her emotions you’re REALLY communicating with her Inner Zombie. It’s her unconscious mind and emotional body that will trigger her to chase you.
Telling a girl you “really like her” is nice but it won’t flip her attraction switches. You need to have impact.
One of the best ways to communicate with a woman’s unconsious mind is to tease her. That’s really what flirting is all about.
We do this to be elusive and fun. By presenting her brain with a puzzle we’re able to sink into her thoughts. She’ll end up asking herself, “Wait, does he like me or does he dislike me? He’s fun, but I can’t tell if he’s into me too. Why isn’t he into me?”
It can be very playful and fun!
Remember: women have pretty much mastered this process.
They will sometimes dress in revealing clothes but then act bratty and disgusted if you look at them like a piece of meat. They will act super excited to talk to you again, but then won’t return your phone call for three days.
The reality is that women LOVE sexual attention, but only from guys they’re already attracted to. So don’t be creepy if she hasn’t yet invited you to be.
Types of Mixed Messages that are attractive when said with a wink and a smile:
- “My God, you have the most beautiful eyes! Well… maybe just the left one.”
- “You’re cute! Don’t say anything, or you might mess it up!”
- “You have the most beautiful smile! Out of ALL the smiles I’ve seen today you’re easily number 4. I’m going to call you number 4 now.”
- “You’re pretty sarcastic … and some people might think you’re mean because they don’t get it, but I’m sarcastic too. That’s why we could never hang out together. We’d just end up having a blast making fun of everyone but our Karma would be devastating!”
P.S. You can read Part 8: Is she a Crazy Lying Whore? here.
P.S.S. Did any of this make sense? Ask me questions in the comments below.
Top Photo Credit: SuicideGirls.com – Pin-Up Punk Rock and Goth Girls