Why is it so hard to find a girl who would like to date me? I just am so confused. I have never dated anyone and I just want someone to appreciate me.
Because we ALL are! We ALL want to be with someone who can comfort us, and love us and take care of us.
Here’s the problem… when you’re seeking a relationship in order to feel good about yourself that makes you an emotional vampire… someone who’s draining someone else of energy.
That’s gross and women will avoid that type of person.
We all know the type… the depressed person seeking attention and approval.
And the opposite is also true… women are drawn towards men who DON’T seek approval, who don’t need someone else to make them feel good and appreciated. These men are most attractive because they have something to GIVE, instead of just trying to take (her approval, her attention, her affection.)
So the easiest way to meet and attract women is to get a handle on yourself… instead of seeking approval and comfort from a possible future girlfriend you might try giving YOURSELF approval and comfort and love.
This is what self esteem is – A healthy picture of ourselves that we take care of.
When I was young I was taught to avoid horrible sins like pride and selfishness… but I misunderstood the lessons I was being taught.
Being proud of our selves isn’t evil or wrong or bad. And taking care of ourselves isn’t selfish. It’s only when our pride or our self attention becomes damaging to others that we need to take a step back and have some perspective.
Being proud that you accomplished something at school or work? That’s great.
Bragging about it so that others will like you? That’s sad and pathetic – because that’s just another form of seeking approval. “Hey, look at me and tell me how good I am everybody!” – that’s sad and pathetic.
When you can be proud of yourself without the NEED for anyone else to agree with you? That’s POWERFUL.
It’s YOUR responsibility to make yourself WHOLE and HAPPY, not your romantic partner’s responsibility.
If you’re just lonely that means you need more connection with people you love and trust… like friends and family.
Reconnect with them.
Give comfort and love to friends and family… that’s how you will feel loved and connected.
Only THEN will you have the enough to GIVE back to a woman who deserves it.
Know what I mean?
Keep your chin up,
P.S. Need some added perspective? Here’s a guy with a huge face tomour who’s happy, funny, and married with kids: video