Question: Should I tell her how I feel?


Q: I’ve known this girl for about 4 months now.

I asked her out after about a month of knowing her (didn’t really know her THAT well at the time) and she said she just wanted to be friends.

We slowly hung out less after that for about a month but over the last month we’ve basically been inseparable. We have dinner together a lot and we spend a lot of time together even if it’s just doing nothing. I haven’t gone a day without seeing her for so long I can’t remember. We spend more time together than my friends spend with their steady girl friends.

We have these awesome conversations when we’re together at dinner (3 hours+) and it seems like we’re never short of conversation. Lately the conversations have gotten a lot deeper. We’ve talked about past relationships, the future, what we’re looking for in a bf/gf, etc. I feel an awesome connection with this girl. It’s like we just get each other. I don’t feel like there’s any pressure to impress.

Everything is just comfortable and easy.

I want to tell her that I really like her but I’m worried about losing what’s become a really great friend at the same time.

Should I just tell or should I let things play out? I’ve already put myself out there once so I don’t know if I should do it again or not. But now we have this great connection that wasn’t there the first time.

I can’t stop thinking about her and I feel like not telling her is driving me crazy.

What should I do?


A: Holy crap don’t be stupid!


Is it too late? Did you scare the girl away yet? I hope there’s time to save this disaster…

First, learn something about ATTRACTION ( link )

Women respond to who you’re BEING, not what you’re saying. So stop thinking, and start feeling.

I understand what’s happening… you’re feeling insecure, and nervous, and tense. This is because you THINK she feels the same way, and you THINK that talking about things will ease the tension. The problem is that TENSION is ATTRACTION. As soon as you try using LOGIC with her you’ll f*** it all up.

She doesn’t care what you THINK. She only cares what she FEELS.

Pay attention and read the above line again, because this is no joke.

When it comes to “getting the girl” it’s ALL about how she FEELS. If you screw things up with TALKING she’ll stop feeling uncertain and attracted, and she’ll start feeling bored and unattracted.

If you spill your guts she’ll feel that you’re not the kind of man she can lean up simply because you’re not even man enough to handle a little uncertainty.

I speak from experience. I’ve made that mistake. It’s what lame guys do to feel better. Don’t do it.

Instead read this and follow my advice carefully – link

It’s not about talking with her, it’s about BEING with her. Take the actions I describe in my above link and she’ll either crumble at your feet, or become even closer friends with you.

Best of luck man!

~ Robby

Today’s AWESOME thumbnail is by this AWESOME photographer.

6 thoughts on “Question: Should I tell her how I feel?

  1. Daniel says:

    Hi Rob

    I just wanted ask a sort of the same question I did ask her out before she said no, I am close friends with her, she will only talk to someone if they talk to her first. She is very shy but opens up to me. I don't know what to do. This girl told me to ask her out on valentines day when we are in Italy together. Is that a good move or stupid.

    • Robby says:

      Hey Daniel, I'd ask you this… what does "asking her out" really mean to you? If it means you're going to ask her to be your girlfriend, then no. Never do that, even when you're dating. It's asking her to make too much of a commitment and it usually means you're insecure about losing her to someone else. Don't do it.

      If you mean you're simply going to ask her on a date, well you can do that any time.

      I suspect you're making too big a deal out of the idea of a "date." It's not a commitment, nor does it need to feel like one.

      For example, what's more likely to make her feel like you're putting her on the spot?

      1) "Hey Susan, will you go out with me?"
      2) "Hey Susan, will you go on a date with me?"
      3) "Hey Susan, I've been dying to check out this new Italian place downtown, I hear they have the BEST food – care to join me? I was thinking Wednesday night."

      If you can manage to get her alone, and share private time together, then you're dating. You don't need to call it dating and you don't need to say the words out loud. Just invite her to things with you, pick her up, take her out, and have fun. And slowly, over the first two dates, escalate the intimacy and physical touch.

      It'll be so smooth she won't have any reason to stop or reject you simply because it'll feel "right." Hug her hello, then share some funny stories, then share some private stories (confide in each other), then pretend to read her palm which gives you a change to feel and touch her hands real slow, then hold her hand across the busy room, then cuddle while sitting side by side, then kiss her. From there she'll be hooked. But do all of this within two dates otherwise she'll think you're just friends.

      Trust me, it's better to be rejected when you're trying to kiss her then when you're trying to get her out on a date with you.

      Hope this helps,
      ~ Robby

    • Robby says:

      Hey Jon,
      That's a great question… the truth is that once a girl has an impression of you (usually in the first few minutes of chatting) its tough to convince her otherwise. Pay attention to her body language and her behaviour. If she avoids you, leans away from you, and other wise seems to be annoyed by you, then it's time to move on.

      The fastest way to turn her around is to lean back yourself, stop doing any aggressive perusing, and step up your "attraction."

      Read this:

      In most cases I suggest you spent more time meeting new women who aren't already going out of their way avoiding you. It's a better way of spending your energy. 🙂

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