Question: I’ve Never Kissed A Girl …


Q: I am 19 and I have never kissed a girl before.

Honestly I feel embarrassing that I never kissed before. When it comes to the end of a date I don’t have enough courage to kiss her.

I have a friend who is 18. She is my high school friend (I would say buddy). We have known each other for 4 years. She was my first crash but we never end up dating.

Shy? Yes 🙂

Now in college we met once again and I am about to ask her out.

However, I am scared because of the above reason.

Now I would honestly kiss any girl but her. Maybe because I am in love? Maybe…

I don’t know what to say or to ask… I just wrote my problem.

Most girls are more shy then us, so don't sweat it!

A: I feel your pain. Luckily I’ve managed to discover the secret to “being shy” as well as the secret to “the first kiss.”


Shyness is actually an artifact of your ego trying to defend it’s self against possible criticism or the disapproval of others. Sounds strange doesn’t it?

Unfortunately the ego will do many things to protect it’s self, including stopping you from living a healthy positive life! Why people don’t speak up, or speak their mind, is because they?ultimately ?fear that they’ll be discovered as weak or inferior – all the while secretly hoping to BE superior.

I learned this from Eckhart Tolle – Read This.

But when you learn to base your self-esteem upon your own voice, and not the opinions of others, you’ll learn that your ego will starve and fade, and your self-esteem will sky rocket. For more info on this process read anything by Don Ruiz.

In any case, forget your ego, and start testing your insecurities…

I would suggest you start learning to socialize with everyone you meet.

Talk to the old guy behind you in the grocery line, or the super hot waitress who takes your order.

Learn to flirt.

Talk, talk, talk, talk, talk, talk.

Get out and be SOCIAL!

This is how you will quickly learn that nothing bad will ever happen to you even when others don’t agree with what you have to say. This is HUGE when it comes to meeting and attracting women.


1) Realize that all women, even if they’re not interested in you, WANT you to at least try. I’ve heard this time and time again from many women. She wants to at least feel she’s worthy of your attempt. So just do it.

Sometimes you just have to go for it.

2) Realize that even if she gives you her cheek, that doesn’t mean anything bad. It simply means “not yet.” You DON’T start back at square one, so nothing is lost. This will never cause her to not call you again. If she doesn’t call you again it’s because she already wasn’t going to – not because you tried to kiss her.

3) Help her get used to your touch. Help her out of the car by the hand, help her cross a busy restaurant by the hand, or even give her a sensual fake palm reading – touch, touch, touch. Don’t grope, keep it clean. Maybe whisper a secret in her ear, softly. It’ll give her goose bumps.

Help her to get comfortable with your touch.

4) Finally, don’t wait till the end of the date to kiss her – do it Mid-Date. When you kiss her, perhaps right after she’s made you laugh, you’ll both feel better. The tension will be gone, and the rest of the date will be WAY smoother.

I hope this helps,

~ Robby

Todays top thumbnail image is from this photographer.

8 thoughts on “Question: I’ve Never Kissed A Girl …

  1. dave says:

    Funny how this whole thing is so confusing and hypocritical. Touch her

    more, but no groping; kissing, but oh,no, not on the first date. Get out

    there and be social ( yes, by all means, become somebody else just

    as quickly as you can because the good person who you are is just

    not good enough).Not a very healthy message, is it?

  2. Tim at ShyFAQ says:

    If you are very shy, I would say don't try to kiss on the first date. By the second date, however, it will probably be expected, and that's good! If she did not like you she would not go out a second time with you.

  3. Jonathan says:

    When you say "she ends up not liking anything you do" do you mean i could acually lose my girl just because I suck at kissing or having sex?? If so that really sucks "/…

    Also if a girl asks me "are you a virgin" should I give her an honest answer or not?

    • Robby says:

      Being a "MAN" means you trust yourself to know that when you take risks and things don't pan out you'll survive. If you've never taken risks and survived then perhaps you're not sure of yourself yet. Take more risks in life and you just might surprise yourself!

      So, if she ends up being turned off by your lack of experience, then that's what happens. Of course it's possible, but the reality is that you're much more likely to attract a woman into your life who's of equal skill level. The odds are in your favour. Most women will either "teach her man" what she likes (pay close attention) and most men try to improve with each make-out.

      So just do it and see what happens. If you do nothing you're going to lose her so you really have nothing to lose, even if you're horrible! And since you're so nervous about it you'll likely be very good. Because you care. And physical intimacy is mostly about connecting and caring for your partner… so how could you possibly do it wrong?

      What most girls DON'T like is a guy who's just trying to TAKE what he wants from her… groping a feel, grabbing ass, and getting his dick wet. These are the types of guys that turn women off, and this definitely doesn't sound like you. Eventually, when you're with a girl for some time, it's more "okay" to grope a feel… if you know what I mean.


      Finally, when a guy is confident and loves himself enough, he doesn't worry what others think of him… especially a girl he's just started dating. Therefore he would never worry what she thinks when he explains to her that he's a virgin. And when asked "why" he's still a virgin he just might say something like, "Well, I just haven't dated any girl who's interested me enough I guess."

      Honesty is ALWAYS the best policy when it comes to dating and women. Why? Because she'll never dump you for being honest, she'll only respect you more.

      Just don't look like a goof by wasting your breath trying to explain something as simple as being a virgin. Being a virgin is like being awesome. It doesn't need explanation. You will fuck whom ever you wish, when ever you wish. It's really that simple. Some day a girl will finally win over your sexual interests and things will progress.

  4. Jonathan says:

    Robby I think alot of guys are scared because their insecure about their lack of experience with Kissing, Sex, and any other type of intimacy. Because I know I wouldn't want to kiss or make out with a girl I really really like and then have her think im a horrible kisser or that I suck in bed. Im acually 20 years old and only kissed 3 woman in my life (never tongue kissed) plus im a virgin. And im talking to a girl that I really like and im scared to escalate because im so inexperienced what can I do about this??

    and really what do woman think of inexperienced men?

    • Robby says:

      Great question!

      All you can do is escalate. That's it.

      You have three outcomes…

      1) You do nothing and she thinks you're not into her, you end up single, and you never get any experience kissing women.
      2) You take it slow but you escalate. And the two of you learn what the other likes (when in doubt copy what she's doing. Just try to keep things dry and slow. Sloppy and wet is only good in certain situations.)
      3) You take it slow but you escalate and she ends up not liking anything you do. But you've learned something new and you get better each time you try.

      P.S. The best place to learn about physical intimacy is to simply ask your closest female friends. They will definitely have insights and suggestions. Another great place is to read romance novels. They always describe in graphic detail the seduction of women, and they're written in a way that really turns women on.

      Don't rely upon porn for advice… this is mistake.

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