Q: I am 19 and I have never kissed a girl before.
Honestly I feel embarrassing that I never kissed before. When it comes to the end of a date I don’t have enough courage to kiss her.
I have a friend who is 18. She is my high school friend (I would say buddy). We have known each other for 4 years. She was my first crash but we never end up dating.
Shy? Yes 🙂
Now in college we met once again and I am about to ask her out.
However, I am scared because of the above reason.
Now I would honestly kiss any girl but her. Maybe because I am in love? Maybe…
I don’t know what to say or to ask… I just wrote my problem.
A: I feel your pain. Luckily I’ve managed to discover the secret to “being shy” as well as the secret to “the first kiss.”
Shyness is actually an artifact of your ego trying to defend it’s self against possible criticism or the disapproval of others. Sounds strange doesn’t it?
Unfortunately the ego will do many things to protect it’s self, including stopping you from living a healthy positive life! Why people don’t speak up, or speak their mind, is because they?ultimately ?fear that they’ll be discovered as weak or inferior – all the while secretly hoping to BE superior.
I learned this from Eckhart Tolle – Read This.
But when you learn to base your self-esteem upon your own voice, and not the opinions of others, you’ll learn that your ego will starve and fade, and your self-esteem will sky rocket. For more info on this process read anything by Don Ruiz.
In any case, forget your ego, and start testing your insecurities…
I would suggest you start learning to socialize with everyone you meet.
Talk to the old guy behind you in the grocery line, or the super hot waitress who takes your order.
Learn to flirt.
Talk, talk, talk, talk, talk, talk.
This is how you will quickly learn that nothing bad will ever happen to you even when others don’t agree with what you have to say. This is HUGE when it comes to meeting and attracting women.
THE FIRST KISS
1) Realize that all women, even if they’re not interested in you, WANT you to at least try. I’ve heard this time and time again from many women. She wants to at least feel she’s worthy of your attempt. So just do it.
2) Realize that even if she gives you her cheek, that doesn’t mean anything bad. It simply means “not yet.” You DON’T start back at square one, so nothing is lost. This will never cause her to not call you again. If she doesn’t call you again it’s because she already wasn’t going to – not because you tried to kiss her.
3) Help her get used to your touch. Help her out of the car by the hand, help her cross a busy restaurant by the hand, or even give her a sensual fake palm reading – touch, touch, touch. Don’t grope, keep it clean. Maybe whisper a secret in her ear, softly. It’ll give her goose bumps.
4) Finally, don’t wait till the end of the date to kiss her – do it Mid-Date. When you kiss her, perhaps right after she’s made you laugh, you’ll both feel better. The tension will be gone, and the rest of the date will be WAY smoother.
I hope this helps,
Todays top thumbnail image is from this photographer.