I have been seeing this guy I met on tinder for 4 months, and at the beginning, I was only in it for rebound from my ex. But after a while, he turn out to be a real good person, but he did mention that he is not looking to be in relationship, but later added, “I don’t know what I want”.
Do you think I should straight up tell him that I like him? I really don’t want to be “just friends” anymore. I want to make him my boyfriend.
Worst, my best-friend met him too on tinder, and even though she knows I’m friends with benefits of him, she still chase after the guy. I’m worried he might fall for her too.
I would just cut him off and say, “listen, our sex is amazing and I really enjoy it. But I’m now in a phase where I want someone stable and worthy of my time outside the bedroom too. I feel like you and I might click like that… although I’m not really sure if that’s where you’re at. So I think we need to stop hooking up. I’m open to trying a few dates with you if you’re into it? If not I get it. I just can’t be sleeping with you unless we’re working towards more… I need more now. And it’s totally okay with me if that’s not what you want. I’m happy to go meet some new men.”
Or something honest like this.
In either case you can’t keep sleeping with him if you’re trying to date him too… you must re-define the relationship. And yes, it’s okay to redefine the relationship at anytime.
I’m really grateful for your advice. I think that’s what I’m going to do.
Sooner or later I’m gonna lose him anyway if I don’t tell him how I really feel.
Maybe it was a mistake at the first to be friends with benefits with him, but I was not myself then, so I guess that’s what I had to do.
It’s never wrong to do what you think is right in the moment, so definitely don’t waste time with any type of regret.
It’s perfectly okay to change our minds about stuff, or even to redefine our relationships as we grow and change. So don’t fret about being someone new, or explaining to him how you’re feeling.
Which shouldn’t be too hard really… because if you’re adult enough to have sex then you’re adult enough to have those kind of honest and heart felt conversations.
You deserve 100% of your lovers attention, but you must demand it. It’s up to you.