Question: Has this girl lost interest, and what can I do?

QUESTION:

Has this girl lost interest?

Previously I told you about this girl that I was dating long distance.  I was going to visit her at the end of October. I did and also had a job interview there. Long story short, she texted me the day I was leaving that we didn’t have anything in common and that we could stay friends but nothing more, ever. I told her that I can’t be “only” friends with her because I would be lying to myself and I’ll walk away. I told her that if she changes her mind to call me.

I learned that I wasn’t assertive enough and wasn’t talking that much. My cousin told me this. I’m more of an observer and laid back. She snap chatted that she lost all her numbers. I sent her my number. She replied, “why would I want your number? You’re not my friend.”

She thought I was mad about it and started an argument. She said that she never wanted a one on one date with me and didn’t want anything more then just friends.

Which is a lie. She told me she couldn’t wait to see me. She kissed me on the lips. She called and texted me first everyday. She called me handsome and she adored me. When my cousin and I were going to meet her she said, “is daddy there with you?” On the speaker phone. She blocked me off instagram and unfollowed me on Snapchat. I unfriended for from facebook.

I’m going to see her again when I stay there. Is there any attraction there still?

How should should I act around her?

 

RESPONSE:

Hey man, I get your confusion, it sounds pretty frustrating actually. Mixed messages and shit.

Something I’ve learned about women and dating is this… when your inner foundations are solid all of these minor confusions no longer seem confusing.

If this was ME this is how I would see the situation:

First there’s some hot girl who shows me interest, which I like. I like when girls show me interest, mostly because I realize that I find relationships WAY more satisfying when my girlfriend is chasing me a little, and not the other way around.

When I was younger I would chase women because it was exciting, like trying to win the lottery. It pushed all of my arousal buttons you might say.

And the opposite was also true… when girls showed too much interest I lost interest because it was kinda boring.

This was the old me.

The immature me.

The me who only cared about FEELING as much as possible, instead of seeing the BIG PICTURE…

But then I spent years reading books on inner game, confidence, happiness, and peace of mind.

I also realized that when we chase women, and when we put them on pedestals, we kill their attraction for us. Of course we guys LOVE looking up at a princess and admiring her up there… wishing she’d want us, give us approval, and love us for loving them. But that’s the immature fantasy that doesn’t exist in real life.

Because women can’t feel attraction from way up there. They can’t look down on us and feel attracted to us. They can feel sorry for us, but that’s about it. Women are not going to look down from the pedestal we made them and then want to suck our dicks.

Attraction doesn’t occur out of obligation. We can’t make them want us by being overly nice, or giving them gifts or love or our attention. GIVING it to them for nothing is not attractive. Reciprocity doesn’t build attraction….

In any case… only when she puts US up on a pedestal will she feel a deep desire to suck our dicks, please us and worship us.

This means we have to approach building her attraction differently. We have to see ourselves as the prize, as the goal, and not the other way around. We have to believe truly that we’re awesome boyfriend material and that we shouldn’t waste our energy on women undeserving of us.

It’s not that we see ourselves as better than others, it’s just that we see ourselves as worthy, valuable and rare. And I don’t me we think these things… we have to BE these things.

We can’t just think we’re awesome and a valuable possible boyfriend if we’re not. We can’t fake it, we must BE it.

Learning this changed my approach to women and dating.

I then learned to tease and flirt with women, but always from a place of abundance and endless opportunity. Meaning, every woman I met that I was super attracted to was a fine individual… but in my gut I knew that she was just one in thousands I could choose from. And if she really wanted to be with me she would have to be worthy.

And if she didn’t chase me a little I’d lose interest and move on as fast as possible. Not in a rude way of course, just in a “I think I need more so I’m moving on” sorta way. I’d back off, become distracted, and I’d move on.

THIS is EXACTLY what super models do, or women of high value. They KNOW their own value and they don’t waste their time being chased by dudes because needy desperate dudes are a dine a dozen. Dudes who are hard to get, who value themselves, those are the dudes super models chase.

And that needs to be YOU.

SOooooooooo…… what I’m saying is this….

The minute I get the sense that some girl isn’t interested in me, I lose interest and RUN the other way. Because I don’t have time for games or chasing someone. I just have better things to do. I have other more interesting women to pursue.

This girl you’re describing is not girlfriend material.

And if you don’t have someone else lined up to flirt with, then that’s just poor planning.

If you’re passively sitting on the sidelines waiting for women to come to you, then you’re fooling yourself. Even being super handsome isn’t enough. You MUST practice talking to women, being assertive and going after what you WANT.

Not chasing women, but being willing to approach them in order to meet them and open them in conversation.

Sometimes there are situations where a girl has placed us in the Friend Zone, and in that case we CAN learn to seduce our way out and into a romantic relationship. If this was you I’d tell you to check out my free video course explaining exactly how to seduce her from a friend into a lover.

But in this case you already tried the romance and it didn’t go anywhere. And that’s okay! Just leave it at that, like a man, and move on to the next thing. Learn, grow, and let go.

Seeing a hot blonde at the coffee shop is the PERFECT way to practice this… by going over, making small talk, making jokes, asking her what she’s eating, asking her about herself, and finding out if she’s as fun as you hope.

And if she’s single saying, “I enjoyed meeting you today! Hey, join me for a proper coffee, I’d like to get to know you a little more… you know, find out if you’re as intersting as you seem to be! How about tomorrow night after dinner, I know a real cool place downtown we can meet.”

It doesn’t even matter if she says yes or no, it’s about learning the social skills.

What I’m saying is “it doesn’t matter if theres any attraction” still possible with this girl. She’s clearly moved on, so you should as well.

Don’t waste time trying to recover. You’re not a homeless man begging for change, so stop acting like it. Chasing a lost cause is embarrassing and pathetic and shows signs of insecurity and lack of confidence. And that’s not you.

Instead remind yourself of your value, that there’s a billion other single women worth meeting, and that your time is valuable. Don’t waste it any more chasing dreams. Find some “sure things” who chase you, and nurture those relationships.

You deserve to see how it feels to be worshiped and adored. But you have to build your relationships that way… where they chase you and where you reward that good behaviour with your love and attention.

I hope this makes sense and that it helps!

~ Robby

 

Am I way off base? Add your thoughts in the comments below!

6 thoughts on “Question: Has this girl lost interest, and what can I do?

  1. Sonybill says:

    Absolutely invaluable advice. Claps to the ceiling to you, Robert. It's clear you've taken a lesson from the empirical.

  2. Mrkoolio says:

    Part 4
    There are millions of women out there. The one that you think you just must have for the rest of your life… You probably won't remember her name in five or 10 years.

    Great sex alone does not mean you should get married…. or even be her boyfriend for that matter

    There are 23 other hours in a day. if you find a woman who is like a best friend, who does things for you as much as you do for her, who is willing to sacrifice and compromise as much as you are, and who is willing to admit when she's wrong as much as you are, and the sex is great… That is a potential partner.

    During the first year or two of your relationship if you put a quarter in the jar every time you have sex, and there after take a quarter out of the jar every time you have sex, your jar will likely never be empty. It's just the way life works. You have to really work at it and you have to be willing to potential he make that sacrifice once you're married and have kids. Men don't just run away. So do you want to be making those decisions when you're 25 or 35 or 40?

    Do not let a women determine or impact your self confidence. It is called self-confidence because it comes from within ….from your self. For one year of my life, I had of the stink of death on me, which means I had no self-confidence. When i bucked up, and got my swagger back, all of a sudden women were making eye contact with me and smiling and not turning away.

    If your dad isnt around, find an older guy to talk to. Oldet guys are supposed to help younger guys….circle of life….somebody helped us once… So let us help you now… and when you get older you can help the guys coming up. Dont be little boys forever. Dont worry about what women want. If you act like a man and do the right thing and our self confident they will come around like flies on a poop pile Act like a man at all times. I hope this helps others and maybe you also…..Robert. Out

  3. Mrkoolio says:

    Part 3

    Women do not know what they want. When they get what they want, half the time they don't want it anymore. I know, it is crazy. Just understand it and don't be dragged into the drama.

    Always be self-confident. If you have to fake it until you make it, then Do so. You have to make a list of 10 great things about yourself and read them in the morning and night. Go up to girls that you would never date for whatever reason looks weight height hair color Credit rating, whatever…..chat them up. It becomes second nature. Make all your embarrassing mistakes with women you don't care about or you're not trying to sleep with.

    Dont change for her. Dont be agreeable with her because you think she will like you more. And believe it or not, she will think you don't care enough to fight anymore. I kid you not this is how they think.

    Always ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS wear a condo. Why ? 18 years of payments. Lets say you are ordered to pay a measely 500$ month in child support. That is 6000$/ year times 18 years = $108,000. Still want to go bare? And women will say, " oh I would never ask for child support or I'll .
    raise the baby myself" or whatever. they almost always ask for support. Further, as a man, you would be acting like a little boy. For your 15 seconds of feeling good, your son or daughter then has to grow up with no dad, and probably a crazy mom, So at a minimum you have screwed your life up and the kid's life up. Men don't do that. Where a condo until you are married and you both have decided you want to have kids and you're emotionally and financially capable of doing so.

    There are millions of women out there. The one that you think you just must have for the rest of your life… You probably won't remember her name in five or 10 years.

  4. Mrkoolio says:

    No means no. No exceptions. I dont care if you are both nakec and right in the middle of it…..if she says stop….you stop…if you ask and she says she doesnt want to continue, you say ok….you get dressed and you walk out like you have another girl on spreddial. AND, you thank your lucky stars that you learned that she was a total psycho before there was an "accident" and you became daddy/married.

    Sex with psycho girls is great….life is not. The opposite is true, many times, with "good nice girls."

    Life is not fair. Neither life, or anyone else, owes you anything. Go have a good cry if you need to….then buck up and become self-sufficient and you will become more self-confident than ever.
    It is a great feeling on the day you realize that you no longer need anybody's money for help to survive. You can fend for yourself. Unfortunately, a lot of kids today are raised in a bubble and then Otr sent out into the crew dark world at 8:20 and they just fall apart, because they always got a trophy whether they won or lost and their mom did their homework and their dad always got them out of trouble or fix the problem and so these kids become self absorbed narcissists who are on Instagram and Facebook all the time and I have no idea how to come back from adversity or handle a setback or how to smile and walk away with some girl think she's too good to talk to you. Remember, most times it has little to do with you. Whether she speaks with you depends on the million other factors ….does she like the fact that you have dark hair or does she only like blondes (like you do), do you look like an ex of hers? Is she having a bad day or on the rag such that her emotions are just raging? When you start realizing that whether she says "let's go to your place" or "get away for me loser"…. it most likely has little to do with your looks or game or whatever. Either way, don't let it affect your self-confidence. You are the same person are you were before you walked over and she acted like a jerk. Just laugh it off and say something smart ass like, "sounds like you're having a tough day… I'll leave you to it". And walk away and 10-1 odds that within 30 minutes she comes over and tries to play nice with you.…

  5. Mrkoolio says:

    I notice you never talk about your Dad. 100$ says you were raised by a single mom. Not your fault….at all. I am here to help. Other guys passec this to me. First, why do you need a gorlfriend? If you get married at 35, remain married for 50 years, and die at 85, do you think you would regret not having a gf until at least 30? Do you think you might regret not banging around more? The answers are no and yes. Trust me, you always think about the ones you could have banged….or in your case, the ones you could have datec/had as gfs.

    Too many guys think the first girl that likes them is the best they will ever do. I did….at age 16. But that bia screwed me over so bad, that she really did me a favor. I made all my mistakes before age 18.

    Here are some rules.

    Be polite….to a fault. Open doors, pull chairs out, try not to swear a lot, defend her, protect her….be the man. I once moved a girl from the edge of the sidecwalk….so that i was now between her and the road. I just gently, but firmly, guided her ovef as we switched spots while walking. I just kept talking….no big deal. 5 minutes later, she asked if i moved her over so that i was now between her and oncoming traffic (note….this also can be done when some sleazebag is walking toward you. You move her out of the way and you put yourself right in mr sleazebag's grill). I just said "yes" and changed the subject. From then on, I coulc do no wrong with that girl. In her mind, I valued her so much that I moved her away from danger, and moved myself closer. Probably no guy….maybe not even her dad, ever made her feel like she was special and valuable, like she felt that day.

    To me, I was just being polite….i wax just doing what a man is supposed to do….I was not acting like a puss so that she would like me, women will tell you all day that thry want a sensitive kind and gentle person for a bf….a person who always says yes to her every whim. Yeah, maybe for 2 nhours, but if you start acting like that all the time, you become like one of her girlfriends and not like the man you should be And not like the man she was attracted to in the first place

    So br polite and act like a strong tough hardass polite honest man

    Don't listen to women….many times they don't even know what they want. If you spend enough time with them, they will actually tell you this. I can see you haven't had these conversations yet Robbie and that is because you are still relatively young, but believe me you will soon realize that half the time when They ask you to do something….it's just a test to see if you have the balls to say no. And if you say yes …. they just keep asking you to do more outrageous things until they're completely disgusted with you or you grow a pair. Next rule.

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