Question: Am I Being A Bitch Or Too Choosey?

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Question:

My ex broke up with me 3 months ago, I’m still not completely over it…but I’m not heartbroken anymore. My friends keep saying “you need to go on dates with other guys!” and really, I’ve tried.

Firstly, my friends say I’m picky. I’m not. I don’t care what the guy looks like as long as he has a good sense of humor and down to earth. Every guy I meet who is interested in me is neither of those things.. I wouldn’t class that as being picky!

I don’t know what to do because I have like 2 guys texting me at the minute, both nice guys, but seriously I’m just not feeling it. They’re nice guys but that’s about it. I have a really unique personality, I’m quite sarcastic and I pretty much joke about everything, on the same note… I’m a really nice girl. My friends say I’m pretty etc… I just ALWAYS compare guys to my ex, or not even that, but I just feel like I can’t be bothered talking to these ‘just nice guys’ Like when guys come and chat me up I will talk to them for a while, when I realize there’s not much personality there I just think arghhhh! I know I sound a bit bitchy but I don’t know why I feel like this!

What can I do?

Trust your instincts... don't ever settle.

Answer:

I feel your frustration… I was in a bad place after my divorce many years ago and it made me coin the phrase “Full of Hate and Ready To Date.”

Eventually I got over it and ended up writing this blog.

Here are some points that might apply to you…

1) Men can be pretty nervous around a cute girl they like. It’s very likely that most guys clam up around you simply because they’re intimidated. It’s very possible that the guys you’re meeting for the first time aren’t being themselves simply because they’re nervous. With a little patience you might bust past their insecurities only to discover they’re awesome.

Waiting for the perfect guy doesn't make you a bitch, it makes you patient.

2) Sometimes having patience sucks. In which case the best solution is to meet more guys. And, I’m not talking about the ten random dudes you met over the last month. Because 10 random dudes are not a good sampling of the men in your city. Only after you’ve been on 100 dates with 100 different guys can you REALLY have any authority in saying that “all men are boring.”

3) Keep your standards. If you seem bitchy it’s likely because you’re frustrated. But don’t let your friends convince you to settle down for the first guy who sends you a bunch of text messages. Because the worst thing you can do is start to spend time with a dude you don’t care for, which takes you way from an opportunity to meet the one dude who would blow your mind!

~ Robby

P.S. How beautiful is this photo? Thanks to this amazing photographer.

One thought on “Question: Am I Being A Bitch Or Too Choosey?

  1. BluntKrayon says:

    I most definitely agree with not settling. But I must point something out that you must contend with…

    Think about this situation as food. Let's say you're at a restaurant / diner, and there's something that's on the menu that you like (perhaps tried previously and was really impressed by it) so you decide to order it again. But you're told that they don't have any more of that today.

    There are two things that you can do.

    1) You can order something else. That is, settle for some other substitute, that you may or may not like. You won't know until you try it.

    2) You can go without eating. Come back the next day, and hope for that it will be there to order. Keep in mind that you're not going to any other restaurant / diner, because you really want that dish. But once you get it, you know it's going to be great; provided that you're not greeted with the same response of it not being there again.

    So think about that; in a simplified world, you'd have two choices. Which one will it be, and which one can you live with?

    I wouldn't worry about what anyone else has to say about the situation. Because after all, you're the one that's either going to be full, and either have the chance of being unsatisfied, or hungry, but have the certainty of feeling satisfied.

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