Question: Is Aggressive Better Than Passive?



Why is aggressive better than passive?

I never really understood how if I seem passive, reserved or withdrawn, people hate me or just ignore me and aren’t willing to even consider me human in contrast to people who are obnoxious, hurt others all the time and are altogether ambivalent. Girls get into relationships with abusive guys who beat them up and everything, yet they wouldn’t even consider being together with a guy who doesn’t control them.


Being passive makes 40-year-old virgins.


You’re asking about extremes (withdrawn vs. aggressive) while not realizing that women hate both of these types of men.

What women respond to is assertiveness, not aggression or arrogance.

Also, women don’t want to be controlled, they want to be lead. Assertive guys LEAD, while passive guys need leading.

Her instincts, before knowing you, tell her that you’re going to be high maintenance, and the last thing a woman want’s to do is babysit. If she thinks you’re withdrawn she’s going to FEEL like you’d be a lot of effort, and therefore not worth getting to know.

But, if you seem expressive, assertive, and fun, she’s going to go out of her way to get to know you. That’s why assertive guys win… they appear more fun, less work, and more interesting.

So learn how to be comfortable being assertive and you’ll find that it’ll afford you the skills to be both quiet and retrospective while still masculine and powerful.

It may seem like women ignore passive guys, but this is because passive is boring. Why would women gravitate towards someone who’s withdrawn?

And it may seem like women are drawn towards aggressive guys, but you’re only seeing the surface of what’s REALLY going on. Compare the passive guy to the aggressive guy. If they’re the same in physical appearance the aggressive guy will always out compete simply because he’s taking action when the passive guy isn’t.

She's going to always choose assertive guys because they're simply more FUN.

And one of the core behaviors of a guy who gets the woman he wants is a guy who is willing to escalate (read pages 72-75 in my book.)

The guys who escalate always do better than guys who don't.

Assertiveness isn’t about “aggression”, or “arrogance”… it’s about allowing yourself to have your own voice without worrying if others agree.

Arrogant men (who women hate) assume everyone else is wrong while assertive men (who women love) share their opinion without fear of being wrong while still being OPEN to being wrong.

Does that make sense?

By the way, masculine and confident men (who women love) don’t complain about how they’re not getting the girl while pointing fingers at more successful men while calling them names like “aggressive and obnoxious.”

~ Robby


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4 thoughts on “Question: Is Aggressive Better Than Passive?

    • Robby says:

      Great comment Alex, thanks for your thoughts. You make a good point… why does one 'extreme" seem to get more results than the other?

      The quick answer is that the aggressive guys escalate, which some women will respond to at first before getting to realize he's just an asshole. While the passive dude doesn't escalate at all, leaving him single or seemingly alone.

      "You miss 100% of the shots you don't take." ~ Wayne Gretzky

      The lesson here is that escalation is an essential part of dating success.

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