5 Reasons Vanity Might Help You Get The Girl


I grew up completely obsessed with confused by girls. When I had no interest in them (until age 7) they seemed to really like me, and the moment I started to find them interesting they scattered like frightened geese, hissing at me and pooping everywhere.

Until I was divorced and living in an empty apartment I never took the time to really self reflect, focus on my health and fitness and basically clean myself up. THAT’s when I start to realize some dating success. And I think that a little vanity helped me get that ball rolling.

So I’m ignoring all the cautionary tales I learned in church and I’m going to share some positive aspects of today’s dirty word: Vanity.


Being Vain Beats Being Lazy

Something I try to make clear in my book is that not everyone is born “good looking” but that anyone can “look good.”

If you haven’t won the mesomorth lottery it doesn’t mean you can’t still beef up, lean out, or shine up real nice.Basically any guy can raise his “rating” with the right diet, attitude, or wardrobe update. Any guy can reach an “average” rating, and many average guys can become 8’s or 9’s!

Don’t let your “before” picture define your future success. If you want to change it’s possible.

How to get the girl
A simple make over.
Weight Loss.
Maturity Sometimes Improves Appearances.
Superficial Changes Can Make A Big Difference
The Small Things Add Up



Women Are Superficial (And Yummy)

That’s right, I said it. Women are superficial when they first meet you.


Well how the hell are they supposed to get a sense of who you REALLY are until they’ve gotten to know you?So all they have to work with is what they can see, hear, smell and taste (tee-hee).

And, according to the science I just googled, we ALL have automatic ways of judging someone’s genetic health based on their superficial appearance.

“It turns out that beautiful people are genuinely different from ugly people, because they are genetically and developmentally healthier.” ~ Psychology Today


This isn’t a judgement towards women, it’s an acknowledgement that vanity has it’s place. There’s even an incredibly popular women’s magazine called Vanity Fair where harmless types of vanity are celebrated and discussed (I assume, I’ve never read it… they cover makeup and fashion right?)

If it’s okay for women to focus on their appearance in order to attract us then perhaps we should do the same.If she’s going to spend decades learning how to dress and present herself then perhaps we should take an extra 5 minutes to bleach our assholes pluck our eye brows.

It’s okay to look good.


How We Look Is How We Feel

Have you ever just felt AWESOME because you think you look awesome?

Maybe you lost that 5 pounds you were working on, or maybe you’re strutting around with a post-gym-pump (not to be confused with a post-Jim-Pump) or maybe you’re wearing some new clothes? And just THINKING that you looked good made you FEEL good?

If you’ve never experienced this sensation then you’re just being hard on yourself. We’ve ALL had good hair days and you know it!

Imagine how great she must feel?

Here’s the problem… if you’ve become lazy, neglected to learn anything about fashions, or exercise, it’s very easy to slide into a pathetic pit of social ignorance, causing you to look tired and unattractive. And when yo KNOW you look unattractive it ALWAYS influences how you FEEL around women.

And, incase I don’t say this enough, how you FEEL when you’re around women influences how THEY feel. It doesn’t matter what a woman THINKS about you, it only matters how she FEELS when she’s around you. That’s a KEY to learning how to attract women.

So if you think you look crappy then you likely FEEL crappy too. Luckily all aspects of depression and appearance can be fixed.

Are you a fatty? Try this.

Bad Teeth? Try White strips.

Stinky? Read this.

Too skinny? Eat a tonne and force yourself through some breathing squats.


Self Reflection Improves Self Esteem, Confidence, And Erections

Some where along the line I learned that being self-reflective was the same as being self-absorbed but I’m here to tell you there’s a HUGE difference between being self aware and being selfish and narcissistic. Caring about yourself doesn’t automatically make you stop caring about others. I’m telling you that it’s OKAY to care about yourself. Even Dr. Phil says that Self Matters.

Creating a healthy and loving inner dialogue creates inner peace, it creates inner health, and it becomes expressed through your personality as confidence. Confidence is a type of courage we express as vulnerability. Women are automatically drawn to men who are happy, healthy, and willingly vulnerable.

“Confidence” is being open to the world while vulnerable, and “lack of confidence” is expressed as being guarded, shy or outwardly angry.

When you are willing to challenge your inner mindsets and beliefs you can change the bad one’s for good ones. And changing how you think will change how you feel.

Can’t settle your monkey mind down so that you can relax? Want the success that Hugh Jackman or Howard Stern? Learn how to meditate!

Lots of people are talking about Transcendental Meditation:Russel Brand, Paul McCartney, Deepak Chopra, Dr. Oz, etc!

And how is self reflection good for your erections? Because scientists believe that impotence is commonly associated with the self-esteem of a man.

Self-Reflect + Self-Correct = Self-Respect


It’s Good For Your Career

You can blame the world for being unfair OR you can get in the game son! We ALL have seen these articles explaining that the more attractive applicant get’s the job. If you’re as skilled as the next person then of course they’re going to hire the better looking options.

Did you know that Elvis Presley was blonde? But he wanted to be more like his idols so he dyed it black. And it did wonders for his career.

Try this – lose some weight, shave more often, get a great hair cut, and buy some new suits… then tell me it doesn’t improve your work life.


Vanity Enhances Mate Choice

Everything I’ve been talking about isn’t so that you can sit at home masterbating into a mirror, it’s so that you can meet women. Quality women!

Women are attracted to men who “look good,” who look healthy (from working out and clean diet), who dress well (fashion,) who seem confident and relaxed (from self reflection, improved inner dialogue, and meditation) and who are focused on their careers. And that perfectly describes a guy who has awareness of his life, himself, and how he looks in the mirror.


Remember, “meating” women takes more than knowing what to say… you also have to look the part (of her future ex-husband.)

~ Robby


3 thoughts on “5 Reasons Vanity Might Help You Get The Girl

  1. Quentin says:

    Hmm it looks like your website ate my firrst comment (it wass super long) so

    I guess I’ll just sum it up what I haad written and say, I’m thoroughly enjoying

    your blog. Itoo amm an aspiring blog blogger buut I’m still new to the whole thing.

    Do you havee any tips for novice blog writers? I’d definitely appreciate


    • Robert Belland says:

      I'm not sure why your original comment was destroyed, sorry about that. And generally I've found it more effective to be brief anyways. 😛

      I consider myself to be a novice blogger as well! The only advice I'd give you would be this… try to write something that teaches or is highly entertaining (if you're good at it.) Because I often see bloggers writing about themselves, in a strangely self indulgent way, only to discover nobody cares.

      But if you write for your audience, and in a way to help others or engage others, it'll be easier to grow your audience.

      Also do a little research on SEO best practices so that over time your "google juice" climbs. 😀

  2. Dating Guru says:

    I think being true to yourself and confident enough to date women might be a good thing to attract them. Of course a little bit of improving yourself to become more appealing to them would be great. Excellent post ! Worth of my time reading this.

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