Attraction is about tension. It’s about mystery and suspense. It’s about flirting and teasing and push and pull. It’s about motion with emotion.
I’ve whipped together 10 reliable ways to help attract women into your life… by improving your foundations as a man.
Indulge In Your Passions
People with passions are like people with Monkey Pox – they’re infectious.
They can infect others with their excitement. Like a musician who loves music, or an artist who loves painting, or a photographer who loves faces, or a dog trainer who loves animals, or a student who loves his future career, or any man who’s deeply happy with the direction of his life.
Find your passions, it’ll make you a happy man.
We naturally get a little joyful when we’re talking about the stuff we LOVE, so it makes sense to have stuff going on in our lives that we LOVE. Women enjoy being around men who are happy and joyful and passionate.
Develop More Skills
Can you change your car’s oil? Do you know how to grow a garden? Or how to properly tie a bow tie?
These are the basics we’ve forgotten about in today’s age of inter-webs and mySpaces and Twatters.
Open your eyes and step into the real world of people, and challenges and road bumps. Life will surprise you with unexpected delays, problems and dilemmas and it’s YOUR job to be able to handle them… and when you CAN women will LOVE you for it! As will your buddies, your family and your number one fan – you.
And since you’re already doing some good learnin’ you should consider adding some life skills to that list: how to dress, how to cook, how to be your own mechanic. It’s these types of life skills that make you a well rounded man. They inspire others to treat you with respect. AND they help instil feelings of self confidence and trust.
Need some ideas? Here are 75 basic life skills that every man should consider.
Having skills helps bring about inner confidence but what about in those situations when you’re completely unprepared? Or when your emotions become over powering?
That’s when you need to get calm. More calm than everyone else around you. While panic ruins the ability to act your inner calmness just might save your life, your wife, or your relationships.
Women WANT to see you challenged with unexpected conflict because in those honest moments of vulnerability she can finally assess if she can trust you.The only way for women to truly know if you’re reliable in tough times is to see you challenged by tough times. Will you fuck up and panic, or will you stay calm and composed?
She needs to trust you because her long term attraction depends upon it. Women don’t just WANT a manly man, they are DRAWN towards them. There’s something SAFE about a man who’s able to stay composed in times of trouble.
Are you quick to anger? Do you stagger and flail when things get tough? Do you panic?
Instead learn how to stay level headed and composed. At all times. Forever.
To help get you centred and composed you can start with this article: 6 ways to find composure when you feel panicked.
I’ve always been impressed with Cesar Millan’s ability to stay composed and fearless with wild dogs… he’s the master of “Calm Assertiveness”
Why is being selective attractive to women? Well, aren’t you more attractive to selective women? Isn’t the term “slut” meant to imply some women aren’t selective enough? There’s a real social judgement towards people who are openly sexual and available. I don’t agree with it but it’s power to influence how others feel seems important.
Women want to be proud of the guy they end up with, and they need to FEEL that they’ve some how EARNED their way into a man’s heart.
So when you’re selective, with your own preferences, it instantly communicates to her that you’re man of value and selection. A man who KNOWS himself and what he wants. And this is very attractive.
So learn how to say NO (all the time) in your search for Mrs. Right.
( I dedicate an entire section of my book (Ignore And Score) to the attractive aspects of leading.)
Leading is about taking action.
Why do most men fail to be successful in dating and in life? They don’t take action.
If you’re struggling to attract amazing women into your life, it’s because you don’t have or use your own power. You don’t have that power because you’re constantly giving it away.
Here are some ways you may be giving up your power:
- Putting her on a pedestal.
- Forcing her to lead; i.e., asking her to make all of the decisions.
- Asking for permission.
- Constantly apologizing.
- Constantly worrying that you’ll upset her.
- Seeking her approval, praise and her constant attention.
- Instead of voicing your opinions, going along with her, then seeking your revenge through passive aggressive behaviors.
- Trying to manipulate her by bragging, lying, or being domineering.
How can any woman, especially one with high social value (a woman adored by many men), possibly find you attractive if you’re busy giving her all of your power?
The worst thing is that she thinks she wants that power, but ultimately it will demolish her attraction and respect for you. It’s called chronic male supplication, and it’s killing the love lives of this generation: Men Supplicating To Women, And The Women Who Hate Them For It – my next Book? 😉
It’s universally understood that women are attracted to leaders. This doesn’t mean you need to be a social leader, although it helps; it simply means yourbehavioursmust communicate to her that you’re in control of yourself.
She needs to feel that you’re able to make decisions, take action, and ignore your own fears. These are leadership behaviors. These are the behaviors that will communicate to her “this guy has his shit together and will not only support and protect me when I need it, he’ll lead me into experiences I’ve never had before.”
Women want to be with a man who can lead; a man she can trust enough to take over.
The idea of momentum ties together ideas of passion, and leading: it paints the picture of a “man on purpose.” He’s a guy who’s not easily distracted by beautiful women, or money, or simple life quibbles.Why? Because he’s got purpose and direction and momentum. And that’s attractive. Women want to be WITH him and men want to BE him.
Many of the small insecure things a man might do around a beautiful woman only occur when he is easily distracted or lacks direction and momentum. But if you give that same man purpose and direction and he’ll immediately stop doing the wrong things, automatically and without realizing it.
Who’s more likely to let a woman walk all over him? The guy with no career direction or the man who’s constantly thinking of ways of improving his business?
Obviously we can’t all be highly successful business owners, but we can all create momentum for ourselves. Either in our private lives through our passions and hobbies and social activities, or through our jobs and careers.
If you’re taking the time to read and learn about attraction in an article like this then you’re already the type of man who’s creating momentum for himself.
Being good with women is often tied to being great with people. The more comfortable you are meeting new people the easier it’ll be to meet new women.
Because women are people. (Well… they’re people with boobs.)
That’s fucked up, right?
When you force yourself to interact with strangers what you’re really doing is helping build your social skills. And social confidence IS self confidence.
So get out of your grandmother’s attic and start making friends. Because friends have friends who know girls who are single.
AND because you deserve to share your life with others.
Great comedians understand the power of surprise, and now you should too. It’s simply more FUN when someone is a little unpredictable (notice I didn’t say unbalanced or out of control.)
When you really understand how attraction works you’ll see how being predictable kills attraction. Because it’s boring. When she knows what you’re going to do or say next it’s kinda boring. But when you sprinkle in a few surprises suddenly things get very interesting.
Didn’t expect that did you?
When women say they like a man who can make her laugh what she’s saying is that she likes a man who is smart enough to surprise her sometimes.
Attraction is about pushing her buttons and poking her FEELINGS… and that takes the unexpected.
- Don’t tell her where you’re going on your date, just smile and say, “It’s more fun if I don’t tell you. Just be sure to be wearing something cute and casual.I’ll pick you up at 5.”
- Don’t call and text her at the same times every day, mix it up.
- Don’t always answer her text/call immediately… sometimes be unavailable, sometimes delay a few hours before responding.
- Don’t be an open book that smothers her in details and descriptions. Leave some of your inner thoughts and feelings to yourself… let her discover who you really are over time, not on the first date.
- Spice up your sex life with different moves, different locations, different desires. Improvise, be creative and try new things.
- Learn to delay. Don’t always try to escalate to sex… a woman KNOWS what you’re doing with you start kissing her neck and touching her thighs… so sometimes just stop escalating and surprise her by not trying get her naked. It just might make her confused and suddenly way more horny.
I learned a tonne from Don Ruiz and his books (Book Resources Here) and something he digs deep into is the power of honesty.
The real trouble is when we’re dishonest within our selves… it fucks our confidence, it pushes people away, and feeds our inner demon called The Ego. Even the tiny lies we tell people to “save their feelings” hurts us like a tiny poison.
How many friends have you seen in a tired or resentful relationship? What a huge waste of time and human effort. It’s sad.
Want to learn about the instincts of honesty? Learn from a dog… because a dog can see through your bullshit. Animals are very honest… they don’t piss around worrying about what other people might think or feel, they’re just honest. Again, take a lesson from Cesar Millan’s.
And yes, women are MUCH more attracted to a guy who’s willing to be honest, about everything. You’re not going to lose her if she knows how many girls you’ve been with, but you might if you keep pretending like it’s awesome she still hangs out with her ex-boyfriends.
Being honest doesn’t mean being a critical asshole to everyone, even when your criticisms are well founded. Sometimes it takes style and class when being honest. Read more here.
The MOST important life factor that effects overall life span is cardiovascular health.
Not diet, not body fat levels, not even smoking.
The biggest factor is cardio. It’s WAY healthier to be fat and FIT than it is to be thin and sedentary. ( Article )
For example: (NYTimes Article)
“In December, a study in The Journal of the American Medical Association looked at death rates among 2,600 adults 60 and older over 12 years. Notably, death rates among the overweight, those with a BMI of 25 to 30, were slightly lower than in normal weight adults. Death rates were highest among those with a BMI of 35 or more.
But the most striking finding was that fitness level, regardless of body mass index, was the strongest predictor of mortality risk. Those with the lowest level of fitness, as measured on treadmill tests, were four times as likely to die during the 12-year study than those with the highest level of fitness. Even those who had just a minimal level of fitness had half the risk of dying compared with those who were least fit.
During the test, the treadmill moved at a brisk walking pace as the grade increased each minute. In the study, it didn’t take much to qualify as fit. For men, it meant staying on the treadmill at least 8 minutes; for women, 5.5 minutes. The people who fell below those levels, whether fat or thin, were at highest risk.”
Try to appreciate the importance of this. It’s less about diet and drugs and supplements and other bad habits… and mostly about how often we raise our heart rate through exercise.
Women are more attracted to men who are alive than dead.